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Dear Diary: Unwriting a Poem

Unwriting a Poem

How should I start, by describing this project of undoing
or undoing this project of describing
it may be extremely harmful
the words that i will tear from deep within
those hidden and mist-covered places
where only demons and bad dreams lurk
where the cut of razor wire and the black ooze of blood
are more than simple images on the wall
they are living and breathing monsters
hiding deep within the darkest recesses
just waiting to be let out
like wild beasts locked behind iron cages,
held at bay by feeble paper locks
and empty ink fountain troughs

crying in the corner is my muse
clothes torn, tattered, a sight to be see
yet simultaneously hidden from
visibility and invisibility
the gaze and the watched
turning on the iris, red and swollen
while poems are sacrificed in front of her
burned like so many books
burned like so many dreams
burned like so many people
flames ablaze
searing in the way that only words can hurt
in only the way that looks can kill
leaving nothing but the taste of bitter medicine
and the alchemical smell of sulpher

i turned this poem inside out so that i could see
where the words were pouring out from
where the genealogy of ideas was emanating
where the structure of knowledge was rooted
but all i found were stupid words trying to sound smart
letters pretending at something bigger
teeth bared, snarling
hoping no one will notice the quiver
of fear and murmurs of loss on tense lips
speak not of this, nor of that
only speak when spoken to
and then only tell lies
until the lie becomes the truth
and can speak for itself as self-evident

inspiration is a muse of death
whispering into your ear
as you paint life on the page, the canvas, the screen
reminding you of your mortality
while tempting you with immortality
flowing like the sands of time

fissures – ruptures – disassociation
i try to stitch meaning together into fleshy circles
wound tightly around each preceding ring
like a coil in a magnet, or a snake in its lair
smooth dark loops through the ether
connecting the here with the now to make the
ever proceeding space that will be tomorrow
but even here words fail me
like they fail so many others.

09.23.08

Posted by horatio on Tuesday, September 23, 2008 (05:43:16) (117 reads) [ Administration ]

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