Growing Pains
Sunday, December 06, 2009 (07:22:31)

Posted by horatio

Life has a way of sneaking up on you, or so I feel lately. Blink and it seems like yesterday was a lifetime ago, and things that made sense last week seem oddly unfamiliar tomorrow. The well of ink on my lifedesk is miserably empty, leaving me to try and scrape out slivers of inspiration with a sharp blade. If you're not careful, the knife slips and, before you know it, the blood starts to replace the ink in the storytelling that is life. My journals are all empty or old and full of memories, some of which are best left in perpetual storage. Like the pictures in the shoebox, they tell a thousand and one tales of daring, adventure, love and loss.

2009 was a great year, and an awful year, punctuated in the middle like a carnival balloon animal mid contortion, ephemeral, destined to fly away and leave only a crying child holding the empty strings and happy memories. But the balloon never comes back, even if you write your name on its heart. And like the circus, life picks up and moves on to another place, another time, another world.

And while I've been crowing and hurting, i've also been learning. Right now my head feels like an over-ripe watermelon, verging on internal rupture. But I can't say it is a completely bad thing. I love learning, and this has been a particularly rewarding fall as far as new learning, new ideas and academic growth is concerned. Exciting horizons lay in front of me, if I can only ride off into them before the sun sets. Some days it seems so close, other days more like a mirage, always receding as I reach out to grasp hold of it. But I've always been a scrapper, so I just keep brushing off the dust and pulling my boots on tighter.

Where is all of this leading; I haven't a clue? I wish I did. All I can do is wait and see.